The Varying Degrees of “Thank You”

I received a phone call recently from someone who wanted to express a general thank you for a community event that was appreciated, and it started me thinking about the effect that different degrees of gratitude have on me. I realized - without too much contemplation – that there are three distinct levels employed by us all and that they each invoke a directly proportionate reaction or feeling from the recipient.

Polite thank you – this is the socially minimal one we were all trained to use as a perfunctory method of accepting an item or service from someone with whom we do not share any particular bond. These are important that yous because they prevent us from being considered rude and they may enhance our service experience (if you fail to give one to the maitre’ d you may not have the opportunity to give one to the waiter!)

Deliberate thank you – such as the one I received when a kind citizen took time out of her day and made a point of calling to express her gratitude for something that impressed her to the point of reward. The giver generally wants to encourage a behavior so that it is repeated, and the recipient of such a deliberate gesture experiences a feeling of satisfaction (well, that just made my day!)

Profound thank you – I experienced this one for the first time while helping out at the Friendship Inn on Thanksgiving day. There is nothing like it and you can’t fully understand it until you feel it. To offer something (that is taken for granted by many) to someone who would otherwise not have it, to have someone thank you in a low voice that contains honest and deep sincerity…well, this kind of thank you might choke you up and make you want to do more.

Let’s use Christmas to begin releasing a lot more profound thank yous. In our community, we have daily opportunities to assist our neighbors who need us. Whether you have a few dollars for the Salvation Army kettle or a couple of hours to help deliver food hampers locally, I invite you to experience for yourself the powerful spirit of giving. And thanking.